You’ve seen them on social media, maybe you have a few of your favourites on the fridge or bathroom mirror, they sound so wonderful, but have you ever considered the harm they can do? What?! Yes, harm – serious self-harm – and they are everywhere.
An affirmation is “an assertion that something exists or is true” (dictionary.com). The problem arises when the statements, although aspirational, are not true. In other words, they are something you want to be or feel but actually don’t. Here are a few examples by Louise Hay:
“My self-esteem is high because I honour who I am”
“I forgive myself and set myself free”
“I now choose to release all hurt and resentment”
They resonate because they are exactly what you want and feel would be great for you, you aspire to be able to say these to yourself and knowthey are true. But: what happens when they aren’t true for you?
They remind you of what you are not… constantly.
If you don’t know (or believe) the affirmation to be true for you, then instead it reinforces the opposite. If you were repeatedly told that the sky is green (not blue) every day, over and over, would it change your belief about the sky? Of course not, you know the sky to be blue. So, if you were repeatedly told you are worthy, but you don’t believe it’s true for you, then what? It will just remind you of what you are not and will reinforce the negative belief you have about yourself, over and over.
When it is not true, an affirmation becomes a wish, because you really, really want it to be true for you. It would solve everything, right? Like winning the lottery. That’s what wishes are, something we fervently want to be true but aren’t. So, when you don’t believe the affirmation it becomes a “wishamation” and it will further erode and undermine everything you are trying to achieve.
What’s even worse is that it will drop you straight into your survival response because the negative belief is a threat. Who am I if I am not that affirmation? Now you are cut off from your resources, your creativity, your ability to choose, change and heal – none of those things can save you from the tiger so you don’t need them. Repeating a wishamation sustains your survival system, prolongs the fight/flight response and locks you into on ongoing pattern of negative thinking, self-sabotage and self-harm.
So, the next time you look at an affirmation, ask yourself: is this true for me? Or is this a wishamation?
